That Loser Feeling: Writing: Evil: Stall Tactics

There is a rest area in Vallejo that is, apparently, quite notorious. I had no idea. I honestly just had to pee.

I stopped on the way home from school one afternoon, and discovered that all the stalls were occupied with toe-tapping service boys, charged and determined, stomping their feet in unison like a sex-starved chorus line. I used the urinal, washed my hands, and bailed. Eek.

I came back, though. It was just too entertaining. It's VERY busy there in the afternoons, and I take great pleasure in watching the half-dozen regulars drift around the parking lot and footpaths in the drizzling rain. Yes, I see you. Hi. Hi. Move along.

I've had to use the stalls a few times. I just had to, okay? The wall between the first and second stalls started off with a modest glory-hole, which was quickly repaired with a steel plate. Another glory-hole was drilled, and again, another plate appeared. After a third hole was drilled, the first two plates were removed, and the whole wall was covered with a six foot by four foot plate. They drilled through that. Talk about determination. I guess these guys carry acetylene torches in their cars, just in case of emergencies such as this. Anyway, in a fit of desperation, the caretakers patched that hole with another smaller plate, so now we've got two steel plates stacked and bolted to the wall. And they're drilling through that now.

We WILL suck!

So I'm sitting in the first stall last week, taking care of business, looking in any direction other than the tiny hole next to me. When I look down, I discover that the gent in the stall next to me has written a note, wrapped it around a pen, and is now trying to hand it to me under the stall. I don't take it. He starts waving it around, in a presumably tantalizing fashion, like an angler fish. Mmmmmm! Yummy sex-note! Take me! Take me! I still don't take it. I think: How Degrassi Junior High is this? He's passing notes? I imagine that the note reads, "Do you like me? Yes. No. Circle One." I finish up and leave.

My friends are angry at me for not taking it. They feel that I should have, if only for the experience.

My question is this: What do you think the note said?

Last updated 24 March 2003